Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Where's the reset button?

Been putting off this post for quite a while now, mostly because I hate accepting defeat.
The last few months have been a struggle, a cycle of good and bad. I remember when I started this blog and this journey I was so pumped up, so determined and so motivitated and when I would read through someone's blog that was struggling I somehow believed that would happen to me! ha! YES, it's happening and rather and create excuses, and denying I have to come clean and admit it.
I've reverted to some horrible habits:
Eating chips, eating fast food, pizza, hot dogs, etc etc. While eating all these horrible foods *well yummy, but horrible the only thing holding me back at least in portion control is my guilt!
I keep telling myself that I'll jump back on the wagon "tomorrow" better yet, on MONDAY! haha what joke that one is.
I keep trying to analyze what's led me back here. I've managed to throw in a little workout here or there but compared to working out 5-6 times a week again, I'm feeling guilty about it. I'm just lacking the motivation, which is the hardest part of this all because I miss the feeling.

In the last 2 months I've been on leave, we moved to a condo and bought a new car, I've been spending alot of time fixing up the condo and I blame that to getting out of the routine of the workouts.
Luckily, I've managed to stay at the same weight of 192-193, so really I haven't gained which is such a blessing!

I've been thinking of going back to basics, back to the things I first started when I began this blog. I'm still halfway to my goal at 50 lbs lost but I kinda want to take a new approach and just feel like I'm starting from scratch at 192 lbs and that my goal is to lose 50 lbs vs thinking ok you need to reach 60 lbs by ..... ?
I don't know if this makes sense, I just need to take the time to right out and admit my struggles mostly just to myself.


Chica said...

Good luck getting back on track! I struggled a lot this past week too. But great job not gaining any weight!

Alissa (A Journey to Thin) said...

I've been struggling and struggling... as I've talked about on my blog for probably over a year. It's terrible. I can't seem to break through it, but I'm not giving up. You can do this!!

Brendalyn said...

The best thing is that you are acknowledging you are struggling. I think it is a great idea to evaluate what is going on, and what was happening when you were 'in the zone.' I lost a lot of weight, (90 lbs) but then my marriage blew up and all hell broke lose, I gained back 40. When I decided it was time to get back on track, I looked at everything I was doing when the weight was coming off. Being thoughtful and mindful was helpful.
I have lost 26 lbs since Jan 1. Granted I have been doing the lose 2, gain 2 thing for awhile of late, but apparently I needed a break.
I talk about what works for me on my blog, granted I haven't been writing as much as I should. Anyway, bottom line is, I eat what I want, but I count my calories carefully.
You haven't gained any weight, and that is really fantastic, maybe you need to just give yourself permission to eat that stuff, then you won't feel like what is the point of working out, I blew the food anyway.
Read my post about "driving the van off a cliff" it might click.
Anyway, sorry this is so long, should make this a blog post since I haven't posted in awhile and this is long enough....
Good job on not giving up. Remember nothing in life is a straight line.

Tri Chic ~ Jury said...

Thank you ladies, I appreciate the feedback. Looking back to the beggining to see what really worked was this blog, it really did hold me accountable so that is definitely gonna be a priority!

Michelle said...

I totally get it. That's kind of the good thing about the blog. You can look back and see where you came from and see what you were doing when it was really working. Or see how you were feeling when doing & eating certain things. Good for you for keeping up with the exercise. You're my champ!