Been putting off this post for quite a while now, mostly because I hate accepting defeat.
The last few months have been a struggle, a cycle of good and bad. I remember when I started this blog and this journey I was so pumped up, so determined and so motivitated and when I would read through someone's blog that was struggling I somehow believed that would happen to me! ha! YES, it's happening and rather and create excuses, and denying I have to come clean and admit it.
I've reverted to some horrible habits:
Eating chips, eating fast food, pizza, hot dogs, etc etc. While eating all these horrible foods *well yummy, but horrible the only thing holding me back at least in portion control is my guilt!
I keep telling myself that I'll jump back on the wagon "tomorrow" better yet, on MONDAY! haha what joke that one is.
I keep trying to analyze what's led me back here. I've managed to throw in a little workout here or there but compared to working out 5-6 times a week again, I'm feeling guilty about it. I'm just lacking the motivation, which is the hardest part of this all because I miss the feeling.
In the last 2 months I've been on leave, we moved to a condo and bought a new car, I've been spending alot of time fixing up the condo and I blame that to getting out of the routine of the workouts.
Luckily, I've managed to stay at the same weight of 192-193, so really I haven't gained which is such a blessing!
I've been thinking of going back to basics, back to the things I first started when I began this blog. I'm still halfway to my goal at 50 lbs lost but I kinda want to take a new approach and just feel like I'm starting from scratch at 192 lbs and that my goal is to lose 50 lbs vs thinking ok you need to reach 60 lbs by ..... ?
I don't know if this makes sense, I just need to take the time to right out and admit my struggles mostly just to myself.